she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
