if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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