How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
