somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
