Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
