Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
