I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
