how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
