So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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