ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
