He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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