I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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