haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
