I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
