He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
