Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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