Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
