is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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