Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
