Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
