Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
