Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just pee around me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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