Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
