you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
