hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
