my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
