Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
