Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
