Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
