i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
