One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
