there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
