definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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