she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize