i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
