If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
