the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The uberlube is also flammable
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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