Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Mom said you looked used
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
