Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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