i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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