Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I supernannyed him into submission
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