You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
