she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
