You really coming over, don't trick.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
