I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
