I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
