mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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