I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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