Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
