Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
