I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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