why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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